Funeral Arrangements

Hello everyone and welcome to EnglishPod. My name is Marco

My name is Catherine. And today we have a sad lesson for you. This is an intermediate level lesson about what happens when a friend or family member dies.

Exactly. So we have a lot of words that are related to all the preparations for when somebody dies. And also some phrases that you can say to someone that maybe had a family member who recently passed away. So before we get into all of this, we have a key word that we wanna take a look at now in "vocabulary preview" Voice: Vocabulary preview

All right. So in "vocabulary preview" you have that one word, and it's the title of our lesson also: funeral.

Funeral. So funeral is an advent. It's something that we .. we have. So basically a funeral is eh the time when we mourn someone who has died. It's a celebration of their life.

Right. So it's kind of like a ceremony where you respect that person that passed away. Right. Some people will talk about the person that passed away, or maybe .. you know it's time to maybe honor (Brit.:honour) that person to as you say mourn and remember that person.

Right. So it's very common for people in different religions to have different traditions. Eh in some religions like I think in Christianity you have a priest who will say something to eh that are very traditional and say something about the person who died. And other religions have different ceremonies. So today we're going to take a look at what happens in preparing a funeral. Dialogue first time 1:40- 2:40

All right, we're back. So a pretty interesting dialogue and I'm sure you have a lot of questions regarding some of those words and phrases that you heard, so why don't we take a look at five key words on "language takeaway". Voice: Language takeaway

So basically we have two friends in this dialogue, who are discussing arrangements for a funeral and one friend is asking the other about his preparations and asks if he has bought a burial plot.

Okay, Burial plot. Now what is a burial plot and why would you buy one?

Well a plot, P..L..O...T.., plot, is a piece of land. So you can think about this logically, a burial plot, burial, to bury is a place .. a space in the ground where we bury a person.

Usually you buy one of these at the cemetery right?

That's right. So cemeteries have some, usually a lot of, land and you can pay for a piece of land.

A small portion.

A small portion. Yeah, and that's a burial plot.

Okay, good. And well our next word is related to what you put into this burial plot, right. Somebody dies and what goes into this piece of land is a casket.

That's right. And I don't know if any of you are fans of the TV show "Six Feet Under", but you know from this TV show that there are many different kind of caskets. So a casket is a box. You can have fancy caskets, so you can have wooden caskets that are very simple, like pine, and eh basically this is the box that the person's body will go into when they're buried.

Right, very good. So that is called a casket. Well moving on, a new trend -I would say- in many countries, and many people around the world don't wanna be buried. So what happens: you get cremated.

Cremated. So this is the option for people who are not buried. In some countries, China e.g., I don't think you can be buried. You have to be cremated because there's an anergy ?4:44 of space.

Right.

And eh this is an option for most people, who are basically your friend or your loved one, their body is burnt. And you can collect the remains afterwards. They're very small. They're ashes. So it's like a burning process.

Okay, interesting. So the word is to be cremated, to get cremated.

Yeah, his body was cremated.

Was cremated. And well as you said, you take the ashes, and you can put them in a cremation urn, or just an urn.

Okay, urn. This might sound like a strange word to you. But an urn is a special kind of pot okay, or a vessel, to hold things in. Eh so e.g. in this case we have a cremation urn that is a special pot, usually very beautiful, sometimes there's a name on it, with the deceased person's ashes. His or her remains.

Okay, very good. So, as you said, it's kind of like a vase or a pot. Something very nice and small where you have the person's ashes. All right, so now we know what happens during the funeral, we know what happens how you maybe cremate the person, and how you put him in a casket, and eh well what happens afterwards?

Well afterwards you have a memorial service. Okay. So many people wanna know what's the difference between a funeral and a memorial service.

Right.

In my mind a funeral is very quiet and sad, and you have some respectful words and you usually put the casket into the ground, or you have some kind of ceremony. But a memorial service is an opportunity to talk to friends and family, to eat some food, to have some drinks, to talk about the person who died. It's almost like the party, if that makes sense.

Ahem. Yeah exactly. It's a .. it's a get together of people who obviously are trying to give support to their friends or the family members, who lost that person. But also to talk about that person in a good way and all the great memories they had. I guess that's why it's called a memorial service, because you .. you remember and you give out your memories about that person.

Exactly.

Okay, great. So a lot of interesting words there, eh very specific to this topic, but obviously really important, so why don't we go back and listen to the dialogue again. Dialogue second time 7:05 - 8:05

All right, we're back. So we have a couple of phrases, four to be exact, eh that we wanna take a look at that now in "fluency builder". Voice: Fluency builder

Okay. This first phrase is a very useful one, if you're trying to ask someone about .. eh maybe they had a feeling or someone who's had some problems recently. You can ask them how things are going. Eh one person says to the other: Hi Daniel, how are you holding up?

Right. How are you holding up? Now you know that to hold up something means to have it in your hands, but in this case you're talking about how are things going.

Right. But I wouldn't say: hey how are you holding up?

Right, you wouldn't say that to somebody, right, if eh normal circumstances.

Now Marco looks very happy, I won't ask him. But if someone has passed through a very difficult period, e.g. if someone dies, in their family or eh perhaps they have been very sick, or you know there are some negative or difficult things that happen, you can say: how are you holding up?

So basically means how are you dealing with this difficult situation. Or how are you dealing with your illness. Okay. How are you holding up.

Or how are you holding up with your in-laws.

Right, exactly. How are you dealing with that difficult situation. And then the person complemented this by saying, en this is a very good phrase, this whole sentence is very useful when if you wanna say something nice to a person eh that has recently lost someone, you say: I am greatly sorry for your loss.

Okay, so you might have heard the word "loss" before, "loose", loss. Loss is a noun, it's a thing. We .. we normally say this about eh people who have died. Because you don't wanna say: I'm really sorry for your dead brother. You know that's .. it's .. it's sad ..

too direct..

it's really???9:56 really too direct . So in English we say: I'm greatly sorry for your loss. For this part of your life that has been.. you know that has gone away.

Right.

And you can also say: I'm very sorry for your loss. This is standard phrase for .. this is a standard phrase for funerals and eh memorial services.

Exactly. So if somebody's brother died, you go up to that person and you can say: I am greatly sorry for your loss, I am very sorry for your loss. That's .. that's what you say. And it's very respectful, and it's very nice to say.

Yes, it's very nice.

All right. So now moving on we've said that the person is sorry and everything. But eh then they were talking about the girl Wendy and that she had life insurance. And that she also left behind a detailed will.

Does that mean that she forgot it?

Ha, she forgot it.

No.

But .. that you can't mean that right?

Right, now yeah, this a phrase that has a couple of different meanings. And so it's important to look at this one, we're talking about someone who has died, who left behind something. It means that they have completed it in this case, or eh it survives them.

Okay, so they left that for you. Okay, because as you said that, it has a couple of different meanings. Like, to leave behind can be to loose, or to forget. But in this case specifically, it's to leave for you.

Yeah, you e.g. can say he died and he left behind three children. Okay. So that means that he had three children when he died and they're still.. they're still alive.

Right, okay, very interesting phrase, to leave something behind. And so she left behind a detailed will, and that's going to sort out any other legal matters.

To sort out. This is a great verb, this is a .. well this is a verbal phrase that we hear a lot eh with documents, and wills and things like this. Basically to sort out means eh to solve problems, or eh to fix or to mend. For example: have you sorted out that problem that you had with you plane tickets?

Ahem, okay. Yeah to sort out, so have you fixed those problems, or have you solved those problems that you had with your plane tickets?

To sort out, to .. to fix, to make arrangements for, very very useful phrase.

Very useful phrase, okay. So four key phrases there, really good ones, why don't we go back, listen to the dialogue, and we'll be back to talk a little more. Dialogue third time 12:25 - 13:30

All right, we're back. So now talking about funerals, there's an interesting word: what is it called when a person speaks at a funeral?

Well normally at a funeral, a loved one or fan will give a eulogy.

Eulogy.

Eulogy.

Okay, that's E.. U.. right?

E.. U.. It looks like a funny word, but it's very important and it's something that you hear a lot: who will give the eulogy? Or: his son will give the eulogy. So this is maybe the keynote address in a funeral. This is the important speech where someone will discuss the person who has died, and his or her contributions and .. eh in life.

Right. Okay so that's called a eulogy. That's really .. really interesting, because .. I don't know, it .. it's kind of a word that you don't really use much, and you wouldn't really know it. I've e.g., I didn't really really know about it until I saw it in a movie when he made a mistake: he said "googlogy" or some like that. Yeah yeah it was in a .. in a comedy. So eh very interesting words, it's a sad topic, but it happens sometimes, you have to deal with these things, and so, if you have to do it in English, well what better way than to learn all of these things which could come in handy sometimes.

That's right. And you .. you never know, you're watching a movie or something, and then this comes up, there are lot of comedies, like you said, we call them black comedies, it means they're very dark,

we don't talk about that.

and strange, and eh they are like for weddings, and the funeral as a very famous English movie about this kinda things and so. This is useful vocabulary, useful phrases for that situations as well

Exactly even if you maybe meet somebody who, I remember, I knew somebody who met a casket's salesman,

really ?

who sold caskets,

An interesting job.

Yeah, so eh you never know.

You never know. Well hope you've enjoyed this lesson, not too dark for you, but eh please still remember to ask us any questions, or practice some of your new words and phrases on our website Englishpod.com

All right, we'll see you guys there. M,C Bye.